Judging by some of the replies on the 'Future Sports' thread and talking to colleagues and mates we did some really naughty stuff as kids. Were we really that evil ? Share your tales of things that landed you in deep doo-doo.

I'll start with this confession of explosive woe.

As a kid I was fairly obsessed with making loud bangs and homemade explosives, napalm and the like, the sort of stuff any ordinary kid does (ahem!)(*). When I was about 15 we had a neighbour who was the type to complain at anything, especially anything that disturbed her wet blanket of a daughter who was a sensitive soul despite being about 21. Come bonfire night I had a bunch of my mates around and we had an industrial quantity of top quality chinese fireworks (the sort that are banned nowadays) that made some pretty fearsome bangs, roars and pretty lights. Now we had just finished making the neighbourhood sound like downtown Baghdad nowadays when who should appear but the neighbour to complain that the noise of our fireworks had "made my daughter wet her knickers in terror!".

Now what total spoon says to a bunch of evil minded fifteen year olds that they had made a 21 year old woman wee herself and not expect something to be triggered in said fifteen year olds minds ? Especially as over the years this woman had complained about us playing football, cricket and even just lounging around the back lawn of my house.

Naturally this little fact fermented in our minds until a month or so later when we did something truly evil. The daughter had a moped that was kept at the back of the house and to get there she had to wheel it down an alleyway between the two houses. At one end of the alleyway was a flight of steps with a surrounding wall that she had to pass. Every day at 5.30 on the dot she would arrive home and her mother would come out to help her push the moped down the alley to the back of the house.

As it happened, on the day in question I had discovered a large banger left over from bonfire night that I had sort of souped up a bit and we just happened to be outside at 5.30pm wondering what we could blow up. We saw them coming and under the cover of darkness the banger was lobbed behind the wall that surrounded the steps. The detonation could not have been better timed. Just as they were about six feet from the wall it went off behind the brickwork...BLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!! and I swear it echoed for a full ten seconds after that. It was closely followed by dual screams of "AAAIEEEEE!!!!" and "YAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!" and a whimper of "Muuuummm! I've pooed and wet myself!". Us lot, evil little s*ds that we were, meanwhile were hiding behind the garden shed trying not to wet ourselves laughing.

Unfortunately a few hours later the neighbour turned up on our doorstep to regale my parents of how their son had made her daughter...well, you already know that. I was hauled out and given a right royal b*****king for it and made to apologise profusely but when the door was shut and she had gone my dad nearly bust a gut laughing. Seems he and my mum were fed up with this woman and her daughters constant moaning about everything and considered it justice well done. Oddly I got a pocket money raise soon after. Nowadays it would have got me an ASBO.

Over to you lot and your tales of naughtiness and woe...

well, I was on a building site one, night with a few friend, and the office guarding the place, was in a hut, with an electric fire, tea and biscuits, and we thought it would be great fun, to start hurling rocks at the hut, and then climbing tree to watch him searching out the punks that were doing it.

But unfortunately for me the tree I thought would be safe in, the branch I was on, cracked and smashed to the ground of about 6-9ft foot fall, I landed with the Branch, the security officer heard and seen me crash to the ground, runs over, grabs me by the scuff of the neck, starts dragging me towards the hut, "I'm saying to myself, I dead, I'm not comming out of dis one handy, what's he going to do to me :(, and as we are walking to the hut, passing tree the others guys where on, hanging like a bunch of spidermans, trying to maneuver themselvies around the tree as we passed, and I'm shout to the officer,"look in the trees, in the tree", but he won't even look up, the twat!, puts me on a chair and locks the door, I'm thinking this guy is going to try and turn me into a "Pillow Biter" and I'm Fu*ked if I'm going to let that happen, meanwhile the guy out side are thinking, How we gonna him him out of there?, so they start pelting the hut again with stones, to draw him out, 1-2 of them let themselvies be seen, He chases them, while the other break me out

To make this story short, I managed to crawl out a small window, like a snake, and take off, the other two, he must of been chasing them for about half an hour at least, but never caught up with them, I later discovered that the Security officer was charged with assault to younths, of Sexual nature, and got six months, I was bloody Lucky I wasn't one of them :blink:

It just show you, They employ anyone, even Pillow Biters

Story happen Summer 1986

omfg

Talk about a lucky escape :o Is he still going about?

I remembered a thing that happened from my murky past recently.

The fair was in town like it is annualy, we were 12 or 13 and we were watching the fairground guys setting-up. One guy in particular was really showing-off and trying too hard to impress the girls. He thought he was cool as fcuk and was boasting about all the things he gets up to whilst travelling with the fair, it's fair to say that me and my mate thought he was a grade A tosser, but still we hung about because he was saying that he could get us a ride on the attraction he was building for free.

After a while he spotted my mate and me and who were standing just outside the circle of 'admirers' that had gathered round. He thrust an empty juice bottle in my direction and barked at me that he would get me on the ride for free tonight if I filled it with water for him and also that he would kick my head in if I didn't do it. The girlies around him all giggled at his threat of violence, and I walked red-faced to the park toilets to the drinking fountain next to it to fill the bottle.

You know what's coming next - don't you?!

That's right, I ducked into the toilet and pissed in the bottle :o :P I only peed a few ml into the bottle, then topped it up with fresh water from the fountain. I rushed back to the show-off fair guy who greeted me with 'cheers sucker!' I waited for the laughter to subside (girlies again) then asked him what time to come down later for my free ride. He just laughed again and told me to piss off. More girlie giggling then we waited. Waited for what seemed ages for show-off guy to take a drink. Then he did it. Show off twat pulled a MASSIVE swig from the bottle, almost draining half of it in one go, then turned to my mate and me and threw the bottle at us.

Show off guy roared 'I can still taste the juice! I thought I told you to rinse it out properly!'

We ran and laughed and ran and laughed and ran some more. :lol: I still talk about that with my mate today, some 23 or 24 years later.

Pauly

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I haven't laughed like that in ages the first one is my fave :D

ahh yes, very good, these god dam Carney codes, they deserve everything and you didn't even get a free ride, what a rip :angry:

but you nailed him :D

Not really a funny one this but I burnt my friend’s neighbour’s house down when I was 7, only the building was condemned and knocked down afterwards and my friends parents bought the land and extended the garden…..

I never did get found out ..

ohh and that reminds me of my old next door neighbour but one who plastered a room and spent 2 weeks sanding it smooth, until the council come round coz of the dust, weird guy !!!

pyromaniac!

looking back at my foolish youth, i did some pretty stupid things for dares, and like the above i used to love playing with matches, i once set fire to a forest, i started to light matches on the dried grass in the woods, within 20 minutes there was about 200 yards of woodland on fire, i ran away, ran past the fire engine coming up the street, the other time i set fire to the post in a red postbox.......jeez i was an idiot back then.