Top 3 Pains

It is 09:38 on a Monday morning and I have wearily wondered in to the office kitchen to make my self some hot "canal water" tasting coffee. Not being completely awake I managed to scold my thumb on the kettle.

While the flesh has now been cooled, I couldn't help that burning could well be one of the worst pains in the world. After a brief chat with friends this morning, I think we have a conclusive list of worst pains in the world.

No1 - Stubbing your baby toe on the door as you walk past which not only stubbs, but tries to rip your toe clean away from your foot.

No2 - Paper cut between the fingers on that webby bit. It's a torture I wouldn't wish on anyone.

No3 - Middle of the night "surprise cramp." When you wake up only to find out your calf muscle is having a spasm, and no matter how much you chew on that pillow, it's only going to get worse.

Anyone do any better>?

1- Stading on face-up plugs in bare feet....yeowch!!

2- Sleeping on your left arm all night, then trying to move your arm, then belting it on your bedside cabinet and smashing a glass

Did that once, almost scarring my arm. My right arm is already scarred so I don't intend to complete my collection!!

3- Riding a bike and smacking one of your knee-caps on one of the handle bars.

Probably not as deadly as yours mate! But, proper painful in my books.

...and the amount of times I've caught my baby toe on doors now. Jeez, I'm surprised I've still got a baby toe! As a result, and it's nothing special I'm sure many other people can do this too, I can move my baby toe left, right, up and down, without moving any of my other toes.

The thing about the paper-cuts, if you've seen Jackass: The Movie, Johnny Knoxville gets Paper-cuts between the webbings of ALL his toes and his fingers. I almost threw-up after watching that "stunt".

Spikey

A common one in my house is the punch in the nuts from a groin-height toddler. Nothing bends you double quicker than a right hook to the 'nads from a two year old clutching a Bob the Builder truck...

I think the worst bit is the laughter from everyone else as you're writhing in agony

Here's a good one. I actually did this, and it hurt worse than the time I dropped a PCB dill on my leg, the needle like drill bit got caught in my jeans, pulled itself two and a half inches into my leg and I jumped up in pain and surprise and broke my other leg on the desk drawer I'd left open.

I used to be an electronics engineer, and I was fixing a mains power supply. Just to test it, I plugged it in with the lid still off so I could take a few measurments. Unfortunately, I hadn't trimmed a new component leg off properly, just kind of bent it over, and as I plugged the supply in the component leg went all the way under my thumb nail with live mains running through it. I turned the air blue, to say the least!

The worst I've experienced is probably


- a coloured pencil shoved into my head, and the minor operation under a local anaesthetic a week later to remove the large lump of the tip that was still in there (that side of my head still aches in cold weather)

- spraining my ankle badly running around in the playground

- then it's a tie between three sporting injuries - a badly bruised thumb from a basketball, dropping a shot put on my elbow, and the scrum collapsing on me leading to bruised ligaments and an X-ray

Can agree with this 100% !

I always get it in my calf when i am sleeping .. It is incredible how your dreams turn "bad" in order to wake you up.

I actually had this cramp for 2 days the last time it came ... I was scared that it actually caused some permanant damage.

Stubbing toes are also not good ... It is strange how for that split second nothing actually happens as the pain rises through your nervous system to your brain .. *then* the pain bells start to ring ....

I don't like when i am cooking and the fat from a pan splits out at me arm or face ... burning ... ooow !! .. it is like someone is jabbing you with a hyperdermic ..

Similar to the above, when the five year old boy runs into the bedroom in the morning, bounces on the bottom of the bed and lands EXACTLY where you wouldn't want him to land.

Also, as a contact lens wearer I've occasionally got the cleaning wrong. Putting a lens into your eye when it's spent all night sitting in Hydrogen Peroxide is agony. Feels like pepper spray (I'd imagine).

I reckon if there was an intruder in the house I'd take a bottle of that stuff downstairs with me.

I wacked my funny bone on a chair yesterday, the hardest I've ever done it, and the pain was unbelieveable. My hand went half numb and the other half felt like it was on fire! If I couldn't see that it wasn't burning I wouldn't have believed it. It took about 20 minutes to get the feeling back.

Bad earache is one of the worst pains, I remember having it a couple of times when I was younger and you just feel like ripping your head off. Also, wisdom teeth are bastards.

And yeah, having a numb arm when you wake up is really scary, it just feels so heavy and senseless. Happened to me once or twice, first time was the worst!

I totally agree with the bike on the handle bar one. That hurts so bad.

For me having teeth pulled without anaeshetic was bad.

Falling asleep outside and waking up with hands so cold you can't make a fist.

HAving glass in your doesnt hurt as much as you'd think.

I fell off a 100ft bridge onto rocks and into 2ft of water.

That hurt quite a bit. But at least I made it in the newspaper!

My God donkey, where did that happen?

(And I'm not going to make jokes about Donkey Airlines!)

Oh! That time I was building the porch - I was on the driveway cuting a large piece of PDF with a Jigsaw (with nice fresh new sharp jaggedy tearing blade)........ whilst chatting to the wife

The after effect was me saying calmly........ I think I need casualty I pulled my hand out from under the PDF hoping that the damage to my finger was not going to be too bad - only to see a small piece of skin stopping the end of my finger from falling off
The nurse and doc said I looked very pale during my 5 hours at the hospital!

I had an abcess under a crown on my front tooth. Doesn't sound bad, but the infection cause one whole side of my face to swell up so bad for over a week that it was level with the tip of my nose - and I have a big nose .
I looked like Quasimodo on a bad day. Wasn' so bad though as I have fond memopries of Hunchback

Don't now about paper cuts into the webbing of my hands, but I've stuck a screwdriver right into the one betwixt forefinger and thumb.

I ripped my hand open on the exposed head of a countersunk screw that wasn't sunk. I was about 5 and fell, ripping open my hand from the centre of my palm and right out the tip of my pinkie. Had it right down to the bone, you could see it in the middle of the gaping wound.

Had a dog bite to the face as well at around the same time...

I feel ill